Waning memory and sanity

Yesterday, I felt very ill. So I was already not in a good place to start. In the shower, I keeled over in pain and must have struck my head because I don't remember anything and suddenly the water was cold. I don't even remember if I shaved or used conditioner.

Then yesterday, I SWEAR I was drinking a bottle of water at my desk all day. I get thirsty and go to grab it, and it's gone. I look around, but no bottle anywhere. Check the trash -- no bottle. WTF. Did I imagine I had been drinking water all day? Or did I leave it in some REALLY random spot that I'll never find? No clue.

And this morning... I walked into the shower still wearing socks. GO ME!

Back to being ill yesterday, I skipped my afternoon dose so I'd be able to sleep off the sick. It worked. I got home, crashed until I was woken up around 8pm by people demanding dinner, and then I was back in bed by 11pm (maybe earlier, can't remember). I slept really well too -- I didn't wake up and wander around in the middle of the night. Still not waking up so well. I even tried taking my pill an hour before I'm supposed to wake up, but it never works for me.

I did not skip my afternoon dose today, so we'll see how well I'm able to sleep tonight. And I'm also feeling 80% better, so that's a plus.

Meds update

Wow, I have ignored this blog horribly. I had been keeping a written sleep/symptom diary with the intention of posting it every week, but that obviously fell through the cracks.

I'm still undecided on the meds. I have noticed a definite improvement in my moods, and I don't have 3-4 major crashes a day where I need to take a nap. Even with experimenting with dosages, I'm still super sleepy all day at work and when I get home, but I can't nap. I haven't had a nap after work in weeks, which would be a good thing if I didn't still crave them. I'm just afraid that since the urge to take a nap isn't as strong as what I used to be that I'll actually wake up refreshed and not be able to sleep at night. Which brings me to my next part... I can't sleep at night! I will be so tired to the point of stumbling around so I faceplant in the bed and then I'll just lay there staring at the pillow for hours. Alternatively, if I am able to fall asleep within a reasonable amount of time, I have been waking up in the middle of the night and then been unable to fall back asleep until it's almost time to be awake for the day anyway. I'm still impossible to wake in the mornings, and this week has been particularly difficult. I overslept Monday -- luckily, my fiancé had called me at 8am to wish me a good day at work so that call woke me up and sent me into such a panic that I had no problem getting up after that. Then the past two days, I've been rolling out of bed around 7:30am (which is about 15 minutes late) and unable to shake the grogginess. This morning, I even woke with my first alarm and took a pill in hopes it would kick in for my morning routine, but it didn't.

I really don't know how to feel about this drug. I like that I'm not crashing and I'm just mellowed out all day. But I don't like that I have no energy all day and am still unable to sleep at night. My doctor said he is willing to try Xyrem if the pills caused insomnia, but seriously -- I don't have narcolepsy and I'm scared to death to try it. I've heard wonders about it for narcoleptics, but I've yet to hear anything about people with hypersomnia taking it. I do go back to the see my sleep doctor at the end of this month, so I will definitely be asking about some kind of sleep aid if things don't improve, but I'm really really hesitant about Xyrem.