Waning memory and sanity

Yesterday, I felt very ill. So I was already not in a good place to start. In the shower, I keeled over in pain and must have struck my head because I don't remember anything and suddenly the water was cold. I don't even remember if I shaved or used conditioner.

Then yesterday, I SWEAR I was drinking a bottle of water at my desk all day. I get thirsty and go to grab it, and it's gone. I look around, but no bottle anywhere. Check the trash -- no bottle. WTF. Did I imagine I had been drinking water all day? Or did I leave it in some REALLY random spot that I'll never find? No clue.

And this morning... I walked into the shower still wearing socks. GO ME!

Back to being ill yesterday, I skipped my afternoon dose so I'd be able to sleep off the sick. It worked. I got home, crashed until I was woken up around 8pm by people demanding dinner, and then I was back in bed by 11pm (maybe earlier, can't remember). I slept really well too -- I didn't wake up and wander around in the middle of the night. Still not waking up so well. I even tried taking my pill an hour before I'm supposed to wake up, but it never works for me.

I did not skip my afternoon dose today, so we'll see how well I'm able to sleep tonight. And I'm also feeling 80% better, so that's a plus.

Meds update

Wow, I have ignored this blog horribly. I had been keeping a written sleep/symptom diary with the intention of posting it every week, but that obviously fell through the cracks.

I'm still undecided on the meds. I have noticed a definite improvement in my moods, and I don't have 3-4 major crashes a day where I need to take a nap. Even with experimenting with dosages, I'm still super sleepy all day at work and when I get home, but I can't nap. I haven't had a nap after work in weeks, which would be a good thing if I didn't still crave them. I'm just afraid that since the urge to take a nap isn't as strong as what I used to be that I'll actually wake up refreshed and not be able to sleep at night. Which brings me to my next part... I can't sleep at night! I will be so tired to the point of stumbling around so I faceplant in the bed and then I'll just lay there staring at the pillow for hours. Alternatively, if I am able to fall asleep within a reasonable amount of time, I have been waking up in the middle of the night and then been unable to fall back asleep until it's almost time to be awake for the day anyway. I'm still impossible to wake in the mornings, and this week has been particularly difficult. I overslept Monday -- luckily, my fiancé had called me at 8am to wish me a good day at work so that call woke me up and sent me into such a panic that I had no problem getting up after that. Then the past two days, I've been rolling out of bed around 7:30am (which is about 15 minutes late) and unable to shake the grogginess. This morning, I even woke with my first alarm and took a pill in hopes it would kick in for my morning routine, but it didn't.

I really don't know how to feel about this drug. I like that I'm not crashing and I'm just mellowed out all day. But I don't like that I have no energy all day and am still unable to sleep at night. My doctor said he is willing to try Xyrem if the pills caused insomnia, but seriously -- I don't have narcolepsy and I'm scared to death to try it. I've heard wonders about it for narcoleptics, but I've yet to hear anything about people with hypersomnia taking it. I do go back to the see my sleep doctor at the end of this month, so I will definitely be asking about some kind of sleep aid if things don't improve, but I'm really really hesitant about Xyrem.

OK, new meds no worky. I went to bed semi-late Sunday, so I'm not even counting Monday as a test day. I went to bed around 11pm Monday and Tuesday nights, which gives me exactly 8 hours of sleep each night. Both days I woke up same groggy (no surprise). Tuesday, the 30mg at 8am seemed to work ok but I felt the meds be pretty much gone by noon but no hard crash. I had a 20 minute nap when I got home from work and still was in bed by 11. Today, groggy all day. Took 30mg at 8am, felt it wear off by 11am, so I took another 15mg (one pill) at noon. Never kicked in, I swear. I feel like a total zombie. I might as well be off meds completely with how I feel. I fell asleep at the chiropractor's office TWICE, and I still feel like hell.

Speaking of which -- I think the first sleep thing might have been cataplexy. I was laying face down on this one table that he uses to stretch my back, and my face went limp and I remember thinking, "I hope I'm not asleep. My cheekbone is pressing onto this table and it kinda hurts" but I couldn't move. I don't know what could have triggered it, though. I didn't laugh or have any kind of emotional response from having my back stretched. Hmm.

However, the second time I fell asleep, it was definitely sleep, hah. I was laying on the table where the electrode things are on, and I had a dream about my dad being dressed up like Santa. *shrug* I still haven't un-groggified since the nap, though. Grr.

Long time, no see!

After I gave up on the daily diaries, I haven't really had much to post about. I'm not having a fantastic home life right now, so keeping up with my sleep hasn't been a priority at all. Really, the only change lately has been that I have started gaining weight the past few weeks, which I haven't done since I began taking meds, so it's a little disturbing to me. I think it's just a combination of me binge eating every night due to stress and the 15lbs of Kit Kats I've been consuming every day since Halloween, so no big worries. I saw my sleep doctor last week, and we're trying a controlled release version of the dextro I'd been taking. Normally, I take 20mg dextro in the AM and 10mg dextro at 1pm. With the CR, I'm going to be experimenting over the next few days or weeks to see what works best.

Today, I took 30mg of dextro CR at 8am. Feeling it wearing off around noon, but not a hard crash like regular dextro. My head is just gradually feeling more and more woozy.

Is this what I was like pre-Dx?

So is this what I was like before I realized I had a sleep disorder? I ran out of meds over the weekend and didn't get a chance to fill the new prescription yet. So today, I'm unmedicated, and I'm a clumsy, forgetful mess. I've walked right into my desk at full speed three times already. Ouch.

I went to Kroger at lunch today to fill said prescription, and that is the SLOWEST pharmacy I have ever been to. Seriously -- how long does it take you to enter in the script into the computer, realize you can't find it, and finally ask for help? It didn't help that the pharmacist there was about 90 and showed his age. So I give my Rx and a vitamin D Rx to the tech and plan to wander for about 10 minutes. I go to produce and get some sushi for lunch and some veggies for dinner... I go to cosmetics and pick out a new mascara... Then I get this feeling like I'm supposed to get something travel-sized. Just this gut feeling like I'm forgetting what it is but I know I need it. So I finally find the aisle with the travel-sized goods and start scanning. Pepto Bismol! Has to be it, right? So I can keep it with me in case the Metformin side effects kick in. No no, I only buy meds in whole packages. Can't be it. What else? I REMEMBER! LOTION! Wait, what? Lotion, really? Yeah, it was lotion I was forgetting to get... It was also lotion that I was forgetting I have about 20 small bottles of in various places like my house, my purse, my desk at work, and my car. Yeah. I forgot I was supposed to get something even though I wasn't supposed to because I forgot I already had it. THAT is how tired I am today.

So after I slap my forehead, I go back to the pharmacy. Got my dextro, but they don't have my vitamin D in their computer. Tech says another pharmacist comes in later and she'll ask him to help her find it for me and call me back. Never got the call. Kroger still has my actual paper script. Hooray! So I have to find the number there today and call and see what's up. Do they not realize what a hassle that is for someone who forgets she forgets?

It's been a while...

Oops. I just realized it's been a few weeks since I've blogged. I'm kind of giving up on the sleep diary thing. I don't see any patterns that would help me figure anything else out, and it takes a lot of energy to remember what you ate & when I went to bed the night before, so I'm just going to focus my energy elsewhere for the time being.

Well, nothing has really happened in the meantime anyway. Still sleeping a lot, but this past week, I've been having a hard time falling asleep at night, which is unusual for me. I think it's just stress, though -- the second I lay down, my mind starts racing, no matter how tired I am.

I'm out of here. Work beckons...

All you have is peanut butter???

Went to Bed Last Night: 1am?
Wakenings: none
Woke up Today: 7am
Naps: none
Meds Taken:
     • 20mg dextro @ 8am
     • 2000IU vitamin D pills (2x)
     • 10mg dextro @ 1:45pm
     • 500mg metformin @ 1:45pm

Food:
     Breakfast: nothing
     Lunch: roast beef & cheddar sandwich
     Snacks: none
     Dinner: Friday! It's Chinese buffet day!
Exercise: 40 minute walk from work to Nationwide Arena and back

Sleepiness Level: Awesome! Cold is gone, and that walk really gave me extra energy I didn't know I could have in the afternoon.
Other Notes: Woke up with the funniest dream. I was talking in my sleep and was saying, "What?? You only have peanut butter at this party???" I didn't realize I was saying it out loud as I was hitting my snooze button, but I was. :) I was at a party, and all they were serving was a jar of peanut butter with a spoon stuck in it. So I smacked the jar off the plate it was on (which turned out to be my snooze button).

a little better

Went to Bed Last Night: 9pm
Wakenings: 11pm-2am
Woke up Today: 7:15am
Naps: 6-7:30pm
Meds Taken:
     • 600mg Advil @ 11pm
     • 1 Mucinex @ 11pm
     • 20mg dextro @ 8am
     • 400mg Advil @ 8am
     • 1 Mucinex (NOT the decongestant kind) @ 8am
     • 2000IU vitamin D pills (2x)
     • 10mg dextro @ 1:15pm
     • 500mg metformin @ 3pm

Food:
     Breakfast: picked at a granola bar for a few hours this morning (same as yesterday)
     Lunch: 6" sub from Penn Station (chicken, artichokes, mushrooms) @ 3pm
     Snacks: rest of the Miss Vickie's chips from yesterday @ 1:15pm
     Dinner: Chipotle – about 5 bites of my burrito and chips w/ guac
Exercise: none

Sleepiness Level: Awake but I'm pretty drained. (Same as yesterday)
Other Notes: Hardly slept at all last night. Was either too hot, too cold, too achy, Todd snored too loud, Todd turned the TV on too loud, cats knocked over a glass downstairs, cat meowing like nuts because she captured a bug, etc. I'm actually the same sleepiness level I usually am, but add in some physical exhaustion from the cold. It's getting better, since I'm hardly stuffed anymore. Now I just have random sneezes and a pesky cough.

sick as a sick dog

Went to Bed Last Night: 11:00pm
Wakenings: about 20 minutes around 2am thanks to my face caving in
Woke up Today: 7:15am
Naps: none
Meds Taken:
     • 600mg Advil @ 2am
     • 20mg dextro @ 8am
     • 400mg Advil @ 8am, 8pm
     • 1 Mucinex (NOT the decongestant kind) @ 8am, 1pm, 8pm
     • 2000IU vitamin D pills (2x)
     • 10mg dextro @ 1:15pm
     • 500mg metformin @ 1:15pm

Food:
     Breakfast: picked at a granola bar for a few hours this morning
     Lunch: small turkey ranch sub on wheat, a few (around 3-4) Miss Vickie's chips, bottle of sweet tea
     Snacks: none
     Dinner: sushi from Kroger, cupcake
Exercise: 20 minute walk during lunch break (got lost trying to walk to Quiznos)

Sleepiness Level: Awake but I'm pretty drained.
Other Notes: Cold is getting worse. I'm all stuffy, which I guess is better than all drippy. I did my neti pot last night about 4 times and an insane amount of crud was coming out every time. Same thing with this morning's neti flush. Considering I can't take cold medicines with decongestants due to drug interactions, I have to be creative on how to kick a cold.

I've been slacking on my sleep diary. Nothing exciting has happened in the meantime. I've been getting sick to my stomach like clockwork every day last week from the metformin, so on Friday, I skipped my afternoon dose and was fine. Was fine all weekend, even though I slept a lot like usual. Then this morning, I woke up with the sore throat from hell. I didn't feel stuffy, but judging by my neti pot results, I sure was congested. I've been hoping I'd start feeling better throughout the day, but alas, just more pain.

Went to Bed Last Night: 12:00am
Wakenings: a few times to check the clock
Woke up Today: 7:10am
Naps: 6-7:20pm
Meds Taken:
     • 20mg dextro @ 8am
     • 2000IU vitamin D pills (2x)
     • 10mg dextro @ 1:15pm
     • 500mg metformin @ 1:15pm

Food:
     Breakfast: none
     Lunch: 3/4 can of Amy's Organic lentil soup
     Snacks: 1/2 of a stick of cheese
     Dinner: roast beef sammy from Arbys, a few curly fries (blech), and Diet Coke
Exercise: sneezing

Sleepiness Level: OK, but physically tired today.
Other Notes:

Today I fell asleep walking down the hall at work. Go me. I have got to stick to an earlier bed time like I used to do before getting diagnosed. :/

Yes, it's super late, and I'm pretty much dead. I've had to wipe drool a few times sitting here, but I'm on a hunt. I'm trying to google information about contrast MRIs, EEGs, and sleep disorders (specifically hypersomnia), and I'm not having much luck. What exactly do the doctors expect to find? I've never had a head injury, so I don't know. I do have chronic sinus problems and a deviated septum, so is it possible that my misshapen skull is to blame for my defective hypothalmus? I don't know. I don't think anyone really knows, and it's frustrating, and my tiredness isn't helping the frustration and vice versa.

OK my typing is horrible when I'm this tired and the fact that I'm crying during commercials on TV tells me I am way beyond tired. No wonder I always thought I was losing my mind. I should have always found it suspicious that my depression went away with naps. Hmmph.

My forehead is slowly healing, by the way. The skin is still a little scaly, but it's not three big red dots like it was on Friday. My bruise on my elbow from the MRI is still present, but now it's just a greenish yellow that's spread a bit farther than before. If bruises photographed better, I'd keep track of it.

OK brain got heavy. Must go before I'm unable to walk up the stairs to the bed.

Acetones r poysen

Can you see them? I still have three dots on my forehead from the EEG electrodes. Not only are they red dots, but the skin has a different texture than the rest. Yes, it's burnt. Burnt! The redness has gotten better since yesterday (my boss actually laughed at the marks when I got in the office), but the texture is just getting drier and crackly, despite the amounts of lotion I'm using.

Anyone have any suggestions? :(

Went to Bed Last Night: midnight, maybe?
Wakenings: none
Woke up Today: 10:45am
Naps: none
Meds Taken:
     • 20mg dextro @ 11am
     • 1000mg metformin @ 11am
     • 1 spray of Veramyst @ 2pm
     • 500mg metformin @ 10pm
     • 2000IU vitamin D pills (2x)

Food:
     Breakfast: a mini bagel (1.4 oz) with fat-free cream cheese and sugar free jam, 1 tbsp peanut butter w/ celery
     Lunch: none
     Snacks: Coke Icee @ 6:30pm (needed a fast bloog sugar boost since I hadn't eaten or taken my amphetamines since the morning)
     Dinner: Football food! 6 oz. ribeye, 6 shrimp, 6 asparagus, 3 freakishly large brussels sprouts, 4 bruschetta (bread, tomato, mozzarella, salt/pepper, olive oil), about 6 bleu cheese-stuffed olives... Hey, I had calories to use up since I didn't eat lunch. :) Oh! And a cupcake and two bites of Buckeye ice cream. yum yum yum. At least the food was good -- game, not so much.
Exercise: officially, none, but I have had a very busy day -- painted the bathroom, did weightlifting (aka carried a heavy basket at the store for a good hour), did a lot of up and down during the game

Sleepiness Level: OK.
Other Notes: Buckeyes blew it. Expect a major depression to kick in now. :P